It's not that he really wanted to go, as in a fleshly, I-need-a-vacation, this-should-be-fun sorta way. He knew it would be hard. But good.
And while I didn't really want him to go I knew I couldn't ask him to stay.
But he told me once that I had the power to make him stay. The wife-power, a dangerous thing. He said that if I was totally opposed to him going overseas, you know - to preach the gospel, equip the saints, encourage our persecuted brothers and sisters - that if I protested and didn't support him, he would choose to stay and love me.
A wife can wield too much influence and emotions can dominate over compassion.
I "let" him go and love me, love them, love Jesus most of all.
And the time came for me to go, too. But together, with him and with my firstborn. And I had compassion on the ones who stayed behind.
Sometimes you don't want to go but you can't stay. Then you get there and you want to go but you also don't want to leave. And He is with us in the staying and the going.
{Five Minute Friday on the prompt: STAY. Join us? Just click here and read what other's have to say on STAY, or jump in all fearless and write your own.}