Friday, I said that risk was good and that we need to meet lots and lots of people. Then I drove off to the big city, full of people, and ran into several that I already knew. I gravitated towards them, the known and the safe, and walked by hundreds I didn't know. Hundreds I didn't meet.
I suppose I took my turtle shell with me.
Saturday in the Goodwill, two men mocked Christians and laughed at one very dear, very devoted and well-known saint. They bantered and built their conversation around lies, and I just looked at the clothes on the hanger.
A real risk-taker, I was.
I was a country mouse in the big city without my husband and I just felt little. I felt sure that my husband would want me to keep to myself in that situation, but honestly, I was happy in my shell. Happy and risk-free.
Then Sunday, back in familiar fellowship, there was a new family. I swallowed hard and fought down the self-doubt and really, fought down the pride that worries about self.
I extended my hand and forgot names and had to ask again and I may have talked too long or too loud or too irrelevant, but I did it anyways.
I actually introduced myself to someone new. And today we talked for 30 minutes on the phone.
I had thought that I had failed after the Goodwill incident. I felt guilty for not standing up for the truth and for being timid. I read about Stephen this morning, his boldness and his risk, and thought again about my lack of both.
But another good friend put it this way. What's risk to you is not necessarily risk to me. What's hard for you may be natural to me, but there other things that scare me, and other places for me to take risk.
Introducing myself to new people really is hard, as silly as that may seem to some. It really seems like risk to me. That's one of the reasons I write.
So I overcome, one baby step at a time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Giving Thanks for all this:
281. Good friends
282. A day with far-away friends
283. Working on the dam with Jake
284. Being with my sister
285. Catching Fred {?I'll be asking some questions 'bout this one?}
286. Jacob making soft pretzels, and taking bits of mom's granola
287. Bailey saying something not funny, and only her laughing
288. Three people asking if we're sisters : )
289. driving 8 hours round trip for a few good books, a homeschool shot-in-the-arm, and lots of good memories
290. Good stories from the kids at home