My words are caught in the back of my throat because there's not really much more that needs to be said, so I try to stop them. What I really want is to just cry in the middle of their town, to just sit there and hold weeping mothers and scared children.
I want them to know that this grieves You.
Sometimes all the answers I have are inadequate. I am frustrated, because times like this seem like fuel for unbelief and all Your mockers gather to point and they think tragedy is one more disproof, one more reason not to see You.
We all want answers and reasons and 3 steps to prevent it, but Lord, this world is evil. Lord, this fall of man has been such a long descent. We want you to come now.
There are no disillusions left in me of making a heaven on earth, Lord. I get it. This strange place is not home, this is not happy-ever-after and your-best-life-now. And You know how the cynic in me struggles, how anger and exasperation have to be pushed down. But use this in me, Lord, to remind me of Home.
Lord, I pray You'd keep me broken and soft and protect me, protect us all, from a depressed love. When there is no answer and no solution, let us love the ones we're with. Let us love them more because hate has increased in this world and the only way to defeat it is to love it out. Even though I want to lock up every suspicious character, or stay locked up in my own suspicious character. Help me to love.
Forgive me for complaining about wet beds and long lessons. Thank You for every mundane and frustrating task, for a noisy house and overflowing laundry. Thank You for giving hope and for loving the children.
I leave justice to You, Lord. I join with thousands, with millions through the ages, who remind You with loud voices and quiet tears to bring it. Bring justice. Bring peace on earth. Bring the Right to all our wrongs. We are messed up and messing up and all this world is ready for judgement. Thank You, Jesus, for being my righteousness.
He shall judge the world in righteousness, And He shall administer judgment for the peoples in uprightness. The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. - {Psa 9:8-9 NKJV}