Of course it's a bad-hair-day.
We're visiting a church in another town, my husband speaking about training native pastors and the work of Master's Bible School, and we're all a little uncertain of what to expect.
Do I wear a dress? Are shorts o.k. for the boys? It's an outdoor service - is it o.k. for Tim to wear his Birkenstocks when he teaches? Ethan wants to know if this church will be shorter than ours, and is there a potluck afterward?
I look like I rode in on a Harley, my big hair flying to the four winds in crazy curls.
On the drive in, Ethan also wants to know if daddy gets nervous when he has to stand in front of people. "I like to be in the back, behind the people. But everyone is bigger than me," Ethan says.
There is a God-confidence that is bigger than those social fears, the ones that plague Ethan and I. Tim is prepared and Birkenstocks are o.k. and we even sing some songs we know, out in the beautiful little amphitheater behind a country church that welcomes us in the Lord.
I don't really think anyone is concerned with my hair or our clothes.
"Mom, can you find me some different swim shorts?" he asks later that night. "Henry makes fun of the flowered-ones."
Another round of swim lessons tomorrow and another bout with the fear of man. I don't laugh at his fear or look down on these worries because they are mine, too. Flowered-shorts and wild hair and one huge pimple, all these giants we have to slay just to get out the door.
"Those flowers are called hibiscus and they're cool Hawaiian shorts, bud. That's what the surfers wear," I appeal. It's not the best parenting, I know, but it's all I can come with at the moment.
"Ya, but Henry would make fun of the surfers, too."
Good point.
Henry wants to make you feel less, and when you already struggle with those insecurities it doesn't really matter what surfers wear or what mom thinks is cool.
Henry will laugh.
Henry has also laughed at your pink palms and your brown skin that mommy thinks is lovely. I want to send your big brother in the locker room with Henry, to teach him a little compassion and maybe put some flowered-shorts on him. But Henry is just a little boy who is very observant and likes to talk, and Henry probably has his own Henrys in his life. So it's me, the one who professes Christ, that needs compassion for the Henrys.
The fear of man brings a snare, But whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe. - {Pro 29:25 NKJV}
This fear of man has never accomplished anything good in us, and most of our insecurities are just a self-absorption that takes us away from Christ and distracts us from serving others.
I've heard it said this way: If you realized how little time people spent thinking about you, you'd spend less time thinking about yourself. A little cynical, maybe, but isn't that the cure? That we ought to trust in the Lord and put others first, thinking less of ourselves and making more of Jesus? And truly, the ones who are laughing at you are probably the ones hurting most, the ones who have learned that it's better to hurt you before you hurt them.
The giants we have to slay today are not the Henrys in our life, but the value we place on other's opinions of us.
And I'd really like to know - how do you help your kids (or yourself) overcome this fear of man? Will you join us in the comments?
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This right here, the cure for Big People!
Oh, give thanks to the LORD! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! - {1Ch 16:8 NKJV}
332. Seeing precious friends before their firstborn leaves for college
333. good neighbors
334. finding my son on his bed with his bible
335. free summer weekends
336. new friends
{Linking up with A Holy Experience, The Better Mom, Titus 2sdays, Scribing the Journey, Growing Home}